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In her first memoir, award-winning novelist Yiyun Li offers a journey of recovery through literature: a letter from a writer to like-minded readers.
“A meditation on the fact that literature itself lives and gives life.”—Marilynne Robinson, author of Gilead
“What a long way it is from one life to another, yet why write if not for that distance?”
Startlingly original and shining with quiet wisdom, this is a luminous account of a life lived with books. Written over two years while the author battled suicidal depression, Dear Friend, from My Life I Write to You in Your Life is a painful and yet richly affirming examination of what makes life worth living.
Yiyun Li grew up in China and has spent her adult life as an immigrant in a country not her own. She has been a scientist, an author, a mother, a daughter—and through it all she has been sustained by a profound connection with the writers and books she loves. From William Trevor and Katherine Mansfield to S�ren Kierkegaard and Philip Larkin, Dear Friend is a journey through the deepest themes that bind these writers together.
Interweaving personal experiences with a wide-ranging homage to her most cherished literary influences, Yiyun Li confronts the two most essential questions of her identity: Why write? And why live?
Praise for Dear Friend, from My Life I Write to You in Your Life
“A work of arresting revelations . . . A writer of meticulous reasoning, probing sensitivity, candor, and poise, [Yiyun] Li parses mental states with psychological and philosophical precision in a beautifully measured and structured style born of both her scientific and literary backgrounds.”—Booklist
“Li has stared in the face of much that is beautiful and ugly and treacherous and illuminating—and from her experience she has produced a nourishing exploration of the will to live willfully.”—The Washington Post
“Li’s transformation into a writer—and her striking success (she is the winner of a MacArthur ‘genius’ grant, among other prestigious awards)—is nothing short of astonishing. . . . For someone who says that ‘pain was my private matter’ and considers ‘invisibility’ a ‘luxury,’ writing about these experiences cannot have been easy. . . . Immeasurable loss hovers just behind these pages, but in sacrificing her first tongue, Li tenuously acquires in her adopted one some legible form of ‘self.’ English, Li’s first language in writing, is the only one in which she could have told this story, one in which Li says she feels, finally, ‘invisible but not estranged.’”—The New York Times Book Review
“Li is an exemplary storyteller and this account of her journey back to equilibrium, assisted by her closest companion, literature, is as powerful as any of her award-winning fiction, with the dark fixture of her Beijing past at its centre.”—Financial Times
“Every writer is a reader first, and�Dear Friend�is Li’s haunted, luminous love letter to the words that shaped her. . . . Her own prose is both lovely and opaque, fitfully illuminating a radiant landscape of the personal and profound.”—Entertainment Weekly
“Yiyun Li’s prose is lean and intense, and her ideas about books and writing are wholly original.”—San Francisco Chronicle
- Brand: imusti
- Published on: 2017-02-23
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 8.03" h x .83" w x 5.43" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
Features
Review
“A work of arresting revelations . . . A writer of meticulous reasoning, probing sensitivity, candor, and poise, [Yiyun] Li parses mental states with psychological and philosophical precision in a beautifully measured and structured style born of both her scientific and literary backgrounds.”—Booklist
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“Li has stared in the face of much that is beautiful and ugly and treacherous and illuminating—and from her experience she has produced a nourishing exploration of the will to live willfully.”—The Washington Post
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“Li’s transformation into a writer—and her striking success (she is the winner of a MacArthur ‘genius’ grant, among other prestigious awards)—is nothing short of astonishing. . . . For someone who says that ‘pain was my private matter’ and considers ‘invisibility’ a ‘luxury,’ writing about these experiences cannot have been easy. . . . Immeasurable loss hovers just behind these pages, but in sacrificing her first tongue, Li tenuously acquires in her adopted one some legible form of ‘self.’ English, Li’s first language in writing, is the only one in which she could have told this story, one in which Li says she feels, finally, ‘invisible but not estranged.’”—The New York Times Book Review
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“Li is an exemplary storyteller and this account of her journey back to equilibrium, assisted by her closest companion, literature, is as powerful as any of her award-winning fiction, with the dark fixture of her Beijing past at its centre.”—Financial Times
�
“Every writer is a reader first, and�Dear Friend�is Li’s haunted, luminous love letter to the words that shaped her. . . . Her own prose is both lovely and opaque, fitfully illuminating a radiant landscape of the personal and profound.”—Entertainment Weekly
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“Yiyun Li’s prose is lean and intense, and her ideas about books and writing are wholly original.”—San Francisco Chronicle
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“[Dear Friend, from My Life I Write to You in Your Life is] not an empirical study of mental illness, but a collection of very personal observations, a story as poetic and wending as its title. . . . Li’s writing unfolds slowly, like a story shared between good friends. That seems to be the point: She writes to connect with her readers on the deepest emotional level. And she succeeds.”—The Huffington Post
“In this exquisite, intimate, lyrical memoir, Yiyun Li reveals her life in flashes appended to an arrestingly coherent philosophy of time, self, and place. Uniting the discipline of a scientist with the empathy of a novelist, she scatters profound and often difficult truths through these generous, wise, challenging pages.”—Andrew Solomon, author of�Far from the Tree
“Yiyun Li has written a remarkable account of her literary life, begun in her youth in China with the books that first engaged her in the great conversations of literature. In her own emergence as an important and gifted writer in English she has brought a new voice to that great world. She has also been, in the deepest sense, sustained by it. Her new book is a meditation on the fact that literature itself lives and gives life.”—Marilynne Robinson, author of�Gilead
“Literature, national identity versus the individual self, the clash of public and private, the mysterious nature of relationship, indeed, human nature itself—these subjects and more are explored with remarkable subtlety and rare, limpid mental beauty. A must-read for anyone trying to stay sane in a world that might be perceived as insane.”—Mary Gaitskill, author of�The Mare
“This extraordinary book is the story of a writer being made and making herself. It is the story of depression coming in waves and being beaten back through love and stubbornness. And also it is one of our finest writers scrutinizing the books that have mattered most to her.”—Akhil�Sharma, author of�Family Life
“Reading Yiyun Li feels like being inside a mind—a quietly forceful, unrelenting mind. Within the limits of language, which she all but touches, she unfolds an argument with the self. She is suspicious of the very concept of the self, but she does not, ultimately, refuse its possibilities. ‘What a long way it is from one life to another,’ she writes, while closing that space.”—Eula Biss, author of�On Immunity
About the Author
Yiyun Li is the author of four works of fiction: Kinder Than Solitude, A Thousand Years of Good Prayers, The Vagrants, and Gold Boy, Emerald Girl. A native of Beijing and a graduate of the Iowa Writers’ Workshop, she is the recipient of many awards, including a PEN/Hemingway Award and a MacArthur Foundation fellowship, and was named by The New Yorker as one of the “20 Under 40” fiction writers to watch. Her work has appeared in The New Yorker, A Public Space, The Best American Short Stories, and The O. Henry Prize Stories, among other publications. She teaches writing at the University of California, Davis, and lives in Oakland, California, with her husband and their two sons.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A beautifully crafted, masterful memoir.
By Bookreporter
Yiyun Li is a Chinese-American writer who moved from China to the US when she was 24 years old. Although her mother tongue is Chinese, from the very beginning she started to write in English. She has won many awards for her writing. This is her memoir.
For a decade, Li tried to be a perfect mother, writer and full-time worker. During those 10 years, she used to write between midnight and four in the morning --- and then one day she just could not do it anymore. She became depressed and even tried to commit suicide. As a result, she was hospitalized twice. She wrote DEAR FRIEND, FROM MY LIFE I WRITE TO YOU IN YOUR LIFE for two years, and her intention, at first, was to argue for and against suicide at the same time. But once one starts reading this magnificent memoir, it soon becomes obvious that this is about much more than that. The reader will not find out the details of Li’s depression or suicide attempt, and she does not even write too much about her hospital stays. There is no recollection of her dark times, because this is a memoir about healing.
DEAR FRIEND does not have a linear plot line. Instead of providing insight into her childhood and youth in China, move to the US, depression, hospital visits and healing, Li takes the reader on an intimate journey. Yes, bits and pieces about her life in China and her hospitalization are scattered throughout the book, but what dominates are her thoughts about writing and references to the literature that she read during her healing process. In a way, this is a homage to Li’s favorite authors in whose works she found solace in her dark times. Thus she refers to such writers as Turgenev, Kierkegaard, Hardy, Gorky, Green, Chekov and Mansfield, and a whole chapter is devoted to William Trevor and their friendship.
This is neither an easy nor a fast read. It is pregnant with difficult thoughts and reflections on life, death, writing, the relationship between a writer and his/her characters, and the writer and his/her readers. Li also poses a question about identity and language, because she writes solely in English, her second language.
With her recollections of the books she read in her teens, Li transported me back to my own adolescent years, a time when electronic devices didn’t dominate our lives and we could surrender to reading. The book rouses a desire to read not only all the authors she mentions here, but also her own works.
DEAR FRIEND is a beautifully crafted memoir in which Li masterfully combines childhood memories with the life and work of great authors and her own intimate thoughts on life, death and writing. Although it is divided into nine chapters, each dealing with a different issue, the book should be read as a whole. Only that way will one get the complete picture.
Reviewed by Dunja Bonacci Skenderovic
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Sad subjects at times but lovely, flowing writing
By Laurie A. Brown
Li is an award winning fiction writer, but this is her first non-fiction work. It’s a memoir, written over two years that saw Li hospitalized for suicide attempts. While it jumps around in time a lot, it’s still obviously been smoothed out a lot because things flow well.
The author writes about her childhood in China during a time when free thought was not encouraged, with a mother who had significant mental issues of her own as a narcissist. She speaks of her decision to change from being a scientist with an assured income and green card, to being a writer. She tells us some about her stay in a mental hospital and about her feelings that took her there. Mostly, she writes about reading and writing, and the books and authors that have been important to her.
It’s a sad tale, mostly. But it engaged me and the prose is so well done that it sucked me in for hours.
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Intriguing premise, repetitive delivery. Did not finish.
By atmj
This book sounded intriguing; a memoir of a fiction writer, from China, musing about her life after several suicide attempts. Her writing forms her recovery.
One thing I found odd, from the start, the title of this book “Dear Friend, from my Life, I write to you in Your Life” is a phrase taken from another writer. While it might capture what she felt this book does, it was odd to use another author’s (Katherine Mansfield) phrase as her title, however later reading in the book it starts to make sense.
This book wanders from the start all over the place. At times it was hard to follow, other times it was spot on in capturing the separation between people and what forms another’s reality and what is authentic. At times it is clear, the author is struggling with a sense of who she is and gets fixated on a concept or two (melodrama). Her mother clearly had some mental illness and I’m sure impacted the author’s sense of the world when she was young.
At one point, the author writes about another author: “Reading her is like trudging through a frozen snowfield in the dark. Even though her words seemed to have been written out of the wish to communicate, together they take on a frustrating opaqueness.” Unfortunately, this book has felt this way to me, at several points including the chapter, that contained this sentence. The author talks of reading various authors when she was young (and questioning if it was appropriate) and their similarities, but it wavers around a lot. However at the end of the chapter, her writing is very clear (discussing her difficulties in dealing with her mother). As I have said earlier, the writing ebbs and flows.
Ironically though this author is often concerned with giving away some of her self, from her Mom, reading her journals, to denying her fiction sometimes could be autobiographical, she has provided this book, which truly is. It is odd to me to go from so hidden, to then so transparent, especially at just a vulnerable time her in life. While my admitting to some self consciousness might seem as a universal complaint that all could understand, many of this author’s concerns are very personal to her, so again even more so unusual.
Finally I have had enough. After a chapter where the author debates various other authors (whom I don’t know and some I do) existentially on and on, I lost complete interest.
You know that friend that gets obsessed about a boy who is not interested and she has to parse every conversation for every nuance. This is what reading this book is like to me. Painful and tiresome and I quit at the 2/3rds mark. I only got that far because I wanted to review the book.
If you are into philosophy this book might be for you...It is clearly not for me. Gave it 2 stars as the writing is good in spots..but only a few.
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